no tree? no problem! just go outside to your nearest hedge and gather up a bundle of twigs.
some nightshade berries are a nice touch. very memento mori.
stick the twigs in
any old bottle a craft beer bottle, like this growlette. on the back it says “farm fresh beer.” where’s that emoji hand making a “mwah perfection!” shape when you need it?
hang up some baubles – preferably vintage – and voila! a christmas tree!
this post has been brought to you by the department of tongue-in-cheek. no hipsters were harmed in the making of this post.